Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Kerana Cemas...

Seorang lelaki menalipon hospital untuk memberitahu yang isterinya nak bersalin. Dan jururawat hospital menjawab talipon lelaki tersebut.

Lelaki: "Hello... tolong saya sebab isteri saya nak bersalin!"

Jururawat: "Sila bertenang... ini anaknya yang pertama ke?"

Lelaki: "Apa la punya bangang... ni laki dia la!"

Jururawat: "Erkkk..."

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Duit dan Air

Ada seorang pemuda ke kedai mamak dia hanya ada 70 sen semasa itu.

Pemuda : Mamak berapa harga teh panas deengan sejuk?
Mamak : Panas 70 sen sejuk RM1.20.
Pemuda :! Bagi teh panas 1.Sampai je teh tersebut pemuda itu terus minum.
Mamak : Kenapa awak minum cepat sangat?
Pemuda : Kalau saya tunggu lama2 nanti sejuk tak fasal2 saya kena bayar RM1.20.

Wednesday, 27 February 2008


These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
------------ --------- --------- --------
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up! Also?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
------------ --------- --------- -------
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
------------ --------- --------- --------
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
------------ --------- --------- ----------

Sunday, 24 February 2008

Tiada Gigi

Oh Nendaku.
Chep(Nama samaran) bagitau tunang dier Lara Croft(Juga nama samaran) teringin nak jumpa nenda Lara. Satu hari, Lara berkesempatan memperkenalkan Chep kepada nendanya.
Sambil duduk menunggu, Chep mengunyah kacang hazelnut sampai abis semangkuk. Nenda Lara keluar lalu Chep bersalam dengan sopan santunnya sambil berkata, "Maaflah nek, abis semangkuk hazelnut tu saya makan tadi." Dengan selamba ala salesman budak-budak pakai tie jual calculator, nenda Lara berkata, "Takpe, Lara memang suka sangat bawakan nenek coklat kacang hazelnut ni. Gigi nenek takde dah, jadi nenek isap je la coklatnya. Kacangnya nenek tinggalkan kat mangkuk tu."

Saturday, 23 February 2008

3 February 08

A Night at Pizza Hut Wangsa Maju =P
On 3rd Feb 08, Zac invited me for his 'open table' party at Pizza Hut Wangsa Maju. Around 20 peoples came, if I am not mistaken. It just like a reunion for us. I have much fun there since I am not meeting some of them quite a while. The party ended till the store closed =) and we decided to continue our party at KLCC...haha. The funny thing was we planned to watch a movie but unfortunately there is no more mid night show in KLCC on Sunday. =D We got trapped in KLCC since all the doors to parking area were already closed. We are lucky when one officer help us to find the way out. I arrived home safely, thanks to Nuar and his Kelissa =P

Thursday, 21 February 2008

Pak Pandir & ubi kayu...

Satu hari kecoh Pak Pandir panggil wartawan datang kerumah dia.
Bila wartawan2 sampai mereka pun bertanya ada apa yang menarik ni pandir.
Pak Pandir pun kata..tengok ni..aku tanam pokok rambutan tapi tumbuh pokok ubi kayu..hehehe.
Waaa pelik ni Pak Pandir..cuba cerita kat kami...
5 bulan dulu aku ada tanam pokok rambutan kat sini..aku ingat lagi sebab aku ada tandakanya kat sini...
dengan apa Pak Pandir tandakan?tanya wartawan....
dengan batang ubi kayu, jawab Pak Pandir.

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Dailygammon - Conquer Club

Huh. Thanks a lot to Abe. Because of him, now I’m addicted to both games. :(
Sometime I felt miserable if I didn’t check the web. So I keep checking the site everyday -regularly. When I walked into my room, I will turn on the computer first without thinking of anything else. If the computer is already on, I will check my turn whether is on or not...haha. When I’m not around especially when I’m at my kampong, I’m so worried. Afraid of be eliminated. Huh. I’m totally addicted!

As a conclusion, don’t get involved in this type of games --> need commitment!!

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

" Why do we read Quran, even we can't understand not even a single Arabic???? "

"I've got this email from my fren. Lets read it and think about it:

This is beautiful storyAn old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of easternKentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up earlysitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur'an.His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in everyway he could.One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa, I try to read the Qur'an just likeyou but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon asI close the book.What good does reading the Qur'an do?"The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove andreplied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back abasket of water."The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before hegot back to the house.The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little fasternext time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before hereturned home.Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible tocarry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket ofwater.You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door towatch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show hisgrandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the waterwould leak out before he got back to the house.The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when hereached his grandfather the basket was again empty.Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!""So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that thebasket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basketand was now clean, inside and out."Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an.You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, youwill be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.


It is better to try and fail, than not try at all"